Packing for My First Trip: My First Ketamine Therapy Session
“Okay, I have headphones, water, journal…ummm umm oh shoot my pen! How can I write in my journal without a pen!? Let me grab my fluffy socks…”
I'm checking off the list in my head to distract from the tingly nerves shooting through my body. I had so many questions! What is this going to feel like? What will the environment look like? Who will be in the room with me? WILL THIS ACTUALLY WORK!? I've never heard of ketamine. Yet I was desperate to live a better life. I had tried therapy and different medications to help regulate my mood, heal my trauma and calm my anxiety. I am tired of fighting so hard to make it to the next day. I am tired of the bad relationship dynamics with friends, romantic partners and family. So maybe… just maybe I will feel some relief.
My therapist said that ketamine helps with treatment-resistant anxiety and depression. She shared that it also helps individuals such as me who are diagnosed with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). Of course, I could not be diagnosed with just PTSD (insert eye roll), mine HAS to be “Complex.” The story of my complicated life…it's all complex!
My ride arrives to pick me up and we head to the clinic. I chose to do intravenous (IV) ketamine. Apparently, there are multiple ways to take it: sublingual lozenges, intramuscular injection, intravenous, intranasal or the less common, oral. So many decisions!
I had already done my research, but I wanted to look it up again while we were driving. I want to know HOW ketamine could possibly help my mess of a life ‘chile. The articles said that ketamine is a “dissociative anesthetic.” It can be used in many ways for both medical and mental health needs. For mental health it has been used to enhance neuroplasticity. Basically, it helps rebuild parts of the brain that stress, trauma, and depression wear down over time; like well-worn paths that stop getting used. (Mine must be BEAT down with all my stress honey). Anywho, it goes on to explain that ketamine does this by targeting the glutamate receptors called NMDA (nerve signals/receptors in the brain) and temporarily blocking them. See, prolonged stress, PTSD, chronic anxiety and severe depression can weaken and shrink the connections between brain cells, so the signals start to misfire and disconnect altogether. By blocking these NMDA receptors, ketamine sets off a chain reaction that stimulates a protein scientifically known as BDNF, or Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor, to release and essentially fertilize the brain. After that process, within hours, the brain begins the process of growing new synaptic connections to repair and replace the circuits that have been worn down. I need those new connections like yesterday.
We get to the office, and everyone is so nice. I fill out my forms and make my payment. My friend left to go run errands as I would be in the session for at least an hour or so. I'm led to the back in a private room, and the kind assistant asked if I wanted a weighted blanket or an eye mask. I accepted the blanket because I knew it would help my anxiety. The doctor comes in to introduce himself and he's chatting me up about music, sports and all things mental health after I shared that I was a therapist. He stepped out to give me time to journal before he connected me to the machine. I wrote about my hopes and fears for this experience and gratitude for the opportunity. He comes back in and starts the process of connecting a blood pressure cuff, a heart rate and respiratory monitor and a pulse clip. I told him I was afraid of needles, and I could not watch him put the IV in and he chuckled. I was dead serious! He finished the IV, asked if I had my playlist queued. My therapist had shared a playlist that she felt would be helpful. I leaned the recliner completely back and pushed play…and we're off!
~Where did I go? What did I see? Did it work? That's part two, and I promise I won't make you wait long.
**One thing before you go: my route was IV at a clinic. The work I now offer my own clients uses sublingual lozenges, prescribed and screened through Journey Clinical's licensed medical team, with me right beside you the whole way. If you've been wondering whether this route could be yours, my KAP page is where to start.
